At this time of year we often find ourselves around people who stress or frustrate us. The problems between us arise again and again as the Holidays progress. This is a good time of year to set some fresh resolutions; not about losing weight or saving money, but about dealing with our loved ones in a compassionate yet assertive way. Here are some ways to achieve this goal.

1.     Understand that _______experiences life from her/his perspective, not mine.

2.     Be kind, calm AND assertive with ______so I can be at peace with my own behavior.

3.     Accept _________where they are now rather than trying to “help” them change.

4.     Give up trying to make __________ happy.

5.     Believe in __________________’s ability to do the necessary to live their own life at this time.

6.     Let __________experience their own feelings (guilt, fear, anger etc.) without my getting caught up in them.

7.     Let __________experience and deal with their own emotional pain.

8.     Do not take control of things that __________should do on their own as a grown adult.

9.     Set and maintain my personal boundaries with ___________.

10. Forgive the past and focus on the positive aspects of my relationship with ____________.

11. Accept my own feelings about ___________whenever they come up and don’t try to push away those feelings.